Get on the Oscar hype bus

I don't often do this. But I am very excited for this years Oscars already for the mere fact that there are two astonishingly great looking movies coming out that will most certainly garner a lot of "best picture," "best actor/actress," and "best supporting actor/actress" attention. But also show that despite all the hype that has come out for Social Network, the so-called modern Citizen Kane, it will fall by the wayside in favor of two very interesting and artistic films.

The first being The King's Speech, starring Colin Firth as King George VI, Helena Bonham Carter as Queen Elizabeth II, and Geoffrey Rush as Lionel Logue. It follows the story of George VI as he battles with his stammer and his public image during the advent of WWII. From the trailer it looks to be one of the most put together casts and the trailer really shows how well they fed off each other I cannot wait for this film to come out! It will be interesting to see how they show the interactions between George VI and Winston Churchill, one man considered to be one of the best orators in history and another who suffered from speech impediment. The juxtaposition in the film I think is what really excites me most about this film. But I also hope that this will make up for the disgrace of the Academy choosing Jeff Bridges over Colin Firth for best actor last year.

Secondly, is a movie of a much different pace and style. A film from a director who is really beginning to show that he is a Hollywood force and not just an Indie darling...finally. This film is Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan. A film which made me jump the second I saw the first pictures. A film that I waited at my computer like so many did for Lady Gaga's Alessandro music video. Yes, I am nerd. Yes, I am okay with it. This also sports a wonderful cast, of people that I feel are often overlooked for their ability--excluding of course Natalie Portman. But the supporting cast looks dynamite and behind the expert eye of Aronofsky this film should be one that does not disappoint. It looks like Aronofsky will achieve something the Coen brothers could not do a few years back getting all the attention in the world from No Country for Old Men then quickly delivering the disturbingly bad Burn After Reading. Aronofsky's return to the screen following the incredibly successful The Wrestler, should not disappoint and I encourage all to see both films.

My hat is in the ring for both of these films, even though I expect the Academy to disappoint me yet again.

Also as a side note I would like to mention that I will not be surprised to see Winnebago Man get an Oscar nod for best documentary and though it was a very basic film, it did justice to and for a cult following and truly deserves a nomination, if only for the fact that it will pioneer a new type of independent documentary style in the coming years. At least I certainly hope it does.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps but the audience does

“Did you hear? We are a don’t buy!”
--George Michael Bluth

I have been disappointed by Oliver Stone more times than I care to share. Yet somehow I just cannot stop watching his films, most of which are terrible attempts at historical drama. So if you take Oliver Stone’s directorial career and put his movies on a rating line with Alexander at one end representing the worst of his movies and JFK and Nixon on the other end for the best of his career and everything else falling in between. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps can sit safely in the middle. To put it simply this film was two hours and seven minutes of meh. But this movie really had so much potential and just couldn’t quite live up to it.

The movie takes place roughly two years ago (that’s 2008 for those of you who are numerically challenged). Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas: Traffic, Wall street, The Game) has been released from prison and is picking up the pieces of his life. His estranged daughter Winnie Gekko (Carey Mulligan: An Education, Pride and Prejudice, Public Enemies) is getting engaged to Jake (or Jacob, because it changed every other time they said his name) Moore a young, hungry, stockbroker played by Shia LaBeouf (Transformers, Eagle Eye, Constantine). This awkward love triangle and its generally poor acting is supported by a cast of greats including Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon, Good Night and Good Luck, Junior); Josh Brolin (W., No Country for Old Men, The Goonies, Milk); Susan Sarandon (Bull Durham, Elizabethtown, The Lovely Bones); and Eli Wallach (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, The Holiday, Keeping the Faith). Even Charlie Sheen makes a cameo as his character Bud Fox from the original Wall Street.

Douglas jumped right back into his role as Gekko and did a wonderful job, especially considering that he expected people to not trust him throughout the movie (both the characters and the audience) and he does a tremendous job of really trying to pull you back into his corner, even if you want to hold him at arms length. Mulligan and LaBeouf really struggled to have any on-screen chemistry, which can easily be attributed to LaBeouf’s terrible acting. He really has not improved since he left Even Stevens; clearly it was not all Meagan Fox’s fault that both Transformers movies were awful. Okay Michael Bay played a huge hand in those multi-million dollar travesties too. Sorry, got off track, those films still anger me.

Anywho, Gekko was one small bright spot in the film. The supporting cast another, because the completely jumped into their roles head first and really took the care to make their characters their own, which as I mentioned earlier was in stark contrast to the main characters’ short comings. But, I think one of my favorite parts about the movie was the entire motif in which the film was designed. Despite being a modern criticism of US and global economic practices and using actual events as the setting of the film, Stone was constantly making homage to the excess of the 1980s and made it clear that he wanted Wall Street and all of the executives who profited from the deception of others, to look as if they were living their lives trapped in a time of financial boon and that on a social level they were oblivious to the actual financial crisis while they were out of the office. Even the soundtrack, which consisted entirely of David Byrne/Talking Heads and Brian Eno songs served to set a very 1980s mood. Stone also utilized the fear mongering and rumors that the media and Wall Street used to create a greater scare as a primary plot device and motivator for the film. But sadly he didn’t take it far enough.

He still fell back on wrapping everything up nicely where everyone lives happily ever after with the exception of the one bad guy who made sure he profited at everyone’s expense including his own. However, even the old executives still made it out clean and their lives were turning around, which can be social commentary on its own, but it was too clean and polished by the end. This Wall Street really lacked that strong “dust settling moment” at the end of the film where people try and pick themselves up from the rubble. You find yourself waiting and waiting and it never comes. However, Stone’s biggest failure was his attempt at artistic metaphor. He constantly kept referring to Goya’s “Saturn Devouring His Son” from Goya’s late Black period. I have seen the painting at the Prado in Madrid and it is a very haunting painting, but Stone only uses it at face value to demonstrate the darkness of the times and Wall Street’s tendency to destroy anything to maintain power. Stone did not fully extend this to Gekko other than him taking money away from his daughter and his future son-in-law. He did not cripple them and he was not eventually taken down the way Saturn was taken down by Jupiter in the end. Nope, by the end of the movie nothing happens to Gekko, he profits and remains out of trouble and the story ends. Very disappointing.

Overall, a valiant effort to pick up where Wall Street left off and make it a film that holds some salient value in today’s world. I find that the movie as a form of social criticism could have gone farther instead of eventually falling in line with everything the media and Washington D.C. have already told us. Moreover, the financial crisis issues increasingly became a mere backdrop for a poor excuse of a love story, which hindered it overall quality as a film. Other films have done it so much better. If you really liked the original film I would see this one for novelty’s sake but if your looking for a biting social critique and a great fictional tale, Instead go rent the original Wall street and pick up a copy of the New York Times or Wall Street Journal.

Making the Grade

Acting: While Shia LaBarf and Carey Mulligan struggled through the entire film, Michael Douglas and the rest of the supporting cast were all around excellent, demonstrating greed, false hope and everything that Wall Street has truly become. B-

Special Effects/Visuals: Stone needs to stop trying to get overly artistic with his camera work, for a straightforward historical-fiction based film, the drama should already be built in and the camera work should not have to be the driving force of the tension. Or at least trying to be that driving force. There were one or two scenes that did wow me though. D+

Music: The soundtrack was great Byrne and Eno are two of the greater voices of their generation and their art-rock, glam-rock genre. The music suited the film nicely, though there are points taken off for the use of “This Must be the Place (Naïve Melody)” by the Talking Heads. It has become the most cliché, feel-good-at-the-end-of-a-film song and is not the last thing I want to hear at the end of any movie. B+

Re-Watchability: As I said before. Meh. I really only see this movie being re-watched if you were watching the original Wall Street and this one back to back for novelty sake. It doesn’t provide and explanation or possible answer to the current financial crisis so it probably won’t be too socially or culturally relevant in a few years time. While enjoyable once, it is also entirely forgettable too. D

Overall Grade: C-

The horror of discovery

"All these horror movies are slasher film now. I like them, they're fun, but they wink at the audience and you're really not terrified through the movie."
--Gina Philips

So to make up for the lack of writing I did over the past couple of weeks I had a flourish of writing over the long weekend, but no computer to post with. So there will be several consecutive post here these next few days. I just have to transcribble my hand written stuff to this here computation device. At any rate. Here is the first of three.

I have been watching a fair amount of horror movies recently, good ones, bad ones, campy ones, the works. But there was one thing that stuck out to me that I feel is one of the greatest and probably more overlooked part of the horror movie genre. Most bloggers and blogettes (bloggesses (? wait no there is only one bloggess apparently)) focus on the monsters or the subject matter of the horror genre and rightfully so, because they are fun topics. But me I like to nit-pick and talk about minutiae, which is probably why there is only one other person that reads my blog...but I digress. I clearly have chosen a much different topic and so... I give you ladies, and bacillus (that's the smart way of saying germs), what I can only describe as the moment of horrific discovery. Or the discovery if you are into the whole brevity thing.

The moment of horrific discovery is the point where the protagonist or group of protagonists finds the first gruesome bit of whatever that spells the beginning of the end for them. I find that quite often the most macho man or the ditsy big boobed female supporting role are the ones to make such discoveries, and you know they will live just long enough to tell everyone what they saw, or not tell everyone to spite them and then die once everything is revealed. Ahh stereotypes.

At any rate here are my top five favorite types of horrific discovery that reveal for most of the characters that "the end is extremely fucking nigh."

5. The dripping, evil fluid on the shoulder

It can be blood, some snot like looking gak, cocoon fluid, drool, it really doesn't matter because it is classic. It becomes even better when the dripping fluid is acidic and burns through the skin of the unlucky victim. This one is usually found in horror movies featuring animals or aliens of some sort but its always great. However, this one only makes it to five because it is repeated a lot and sometimes well after the horror has been established. For example in 28 Days Later when the father gets the infected blood in his eye and begins to zombify. The whole zombie bit was well established but the discovery of the transformation from human to disease riddled undead was still really cool to watch and super dramatic. The drippy evil fluid discovery moment is simple and sweet and that is what makes it so memorable.

4. The ole' switcheroo

This can happen a number of ways, but basically the thing the character thought they were touching, eating, petting, having sex with, suddenly ends up being something different or something that is just no longer alive. This is one of those discovery moments that happens commonly in slasher flicks. The couple out at "heavy petting point" in the convertible, things getting hot, one person goes down on the other and reaches up or comes up for air and their significant fuck-buddy is without a head. That is the switcheroo. Other times it could be someone eating something delicious and wonderful and then they jam their spoon into that delicious bowl of food and come up with an eyeball or their drink is suddenly blood. That is the switcheroo. But my favorite switcheroo comes from one of the campiest movies of all time: From Dusk Till Dawn not because of Selma Hayek, not because of the hilarious dialogue, and not because of the penis gun in Sex Machine's pants. It is because the switcheroo is so complete that the band is even playing instruments made out of body parts. Just watch:



3. Falling Limbs

This is one that is not used much as a form of horrific discovery, but when it is used it is done to perfection. It is one that is seen more commonly in zombie films where a zombie arm falls out of nowhere to grab the shoulder of some unsuspecting human. I particularly love it when that one character who 30 minutes into the film went off by themselves to take a shit or something gets attacked but somehow barely survives to semi-warn the others that something is out there. The character does this by slamming their blood covered hand on an unsuspecting human only to reveal that he/she was attacked by something but dying right before he/she actually reveals what it is. Classic horror plot movement. Sadly there are very few films where the horrific discovery involves a falling detached limb, that usually comes later in the film like in when Samuel Jackson's arm falls on Laura Dern in Jurassic Park. Nevertheless the falling limb gimmick is one of those time honored horror trends that is meant purely for shock value but never ceases to entertain no matter how predictable it may be.

2. And behind door #1...

I also call this the "Head on the Door" moment of discovery, yes that is a Cure reference, yes I am okay with that. Think about the song "Close to Me" by The Cure.

"Just try to see in the dark
Just try to make it work
To feel the fear before you're here
I make the shapes come much too close
I pull my eyes out
Hold my breath
And wait until i shake..."

Pretty much describes what I am talking about here. This is one of those moments when somebody in the horror movie thinks they see something go around the corner or through the hall, and at first they don't see anything. They get called crazy, they get ignored, so on and so forth, when suddenly they see something not alive, not human reveal itself in an ominous manner, like slowly turning around to reveal blood, and perhaps a weapon or a human head. The character is thinking, "if only i was sure that my head on the door was a dream," indeed. I guess Robert Smith really liked horror movies, and it kind of makes you think twice about those songs you used to slow dance to with your girlfriend huh?


1. Cute little animal with limb in mouth













This is by far my favorite type of horrific discovery, because it is so disturbingly funny. It often involves a dog, and if you are lucky or watching a suberbly awful horror film, a little child. It typically goes a little something like this:

"Hey [insert ironic and cliche dog name here] what'cha got there?"
Dog growls and continues to chomp on prize
"OH MY GOD it's a human hand!!!!! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE"

Something like that. The point is its the perfect mix of cute, disgusting and funny all mixed into one little package. It's so simple of a reveal that something is afoul that it just gets overlooked as campy humor, but to me this is one of the best ways to throw people into the action of a horror film be it award winning (if there is such a thing in the horror genre) or ultimo camp the world champion luchador of campy horror films --which as of this moment is being disputed by Human Centipede and Trolls 2.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World vs. the critics

"The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional of the embarrassment he can tolerate."
--Douglas Englebart

I am going to come right out and say it. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is not for everyone. But it is for most of those Generation X and Generation Y people, like me, who grew up with comics, video games, indie rock music, an increased focus and value on fashion and an unequivocally short attention span. We should really be called the ADD generation...in fact consider it coined. We now officially the ADD/ADHD generation. And ADD generation I give you my review of Scott Pilgri.....hey look a butterfly.

This movie starts out with a bang, turning the Universal Pictures production screen and theme music into an 8-bit piece of joy that was not only very creative but set the pace for the movie from the get-go. The guy behind me who complained throughout the movie really should have realized what he was getting into at this point and walked out.

The story, without giving anything away, is based on the graphic novels by Bryan Lee O'Malley. It follows Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera: Superbad, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist) an out of work, disenfranchised, Canadian 22 year old, struggling through life and women to make sense of the world while his band tries to make it big. He meets a girl, Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead: Live Free or Die Hard, Death Proof, Factory Girl) and in order to date her and essentially live happily ever after has to defeat her seven evil exes played by Satya Babha, Chris Evans, Mae Whitman (who played Ann on Arrested Development), Brandon Routh, Keita Saitou, Shota Saito and Jason Schwartzman.

I know what you are thinking the plot sounds unoriginal and boring. But it is so far from the truth. The writing is witty in a way that only Cera can deliver, which is helped when he is surrounded by people like Kieran Culkin (Igby Goes Down, The Secret Lives of Altar Boys, The Cider House Rules) and Anna Kendrick (Up In The Air, Twilight Series). I would like to add that Culkin has surpassed his brother Macaulay Culkin by leaps and bounds. Along with the writing though the plot is made original by the seamless incorporation of dream sequences, video game references and graphic novel imagery. Th film is quick, sharp and has fully embraced and pokes fun at its nerdiness and it hipster attitude. At one point during the movie in the background you can clearly hear someone say, "yeah but their first album was so much better than their first album," or the in the first fight scene the passing comment that, "pirates are in this year," completely poking fun at the elitist hipster stereotype that comes with the indie rock and fashion scenes nowadays.

The cinematography is creative, metaphorical and makes countless references and homages to pop-culture and the influences of the original graphic novels. But the sensory joyride does not stop there. The soundtrack, which is arguably the glue that holds the film together as Scott Pilgrim's band: Sex Bob-omb and their struggles parallel the struggles that Scott Pilgrim has in his basic relationships. The music is clearly influenced by Plumtree who was the original inspiration for O'Malley's graphic novels, as well as the general indie/garage/grunge sound that came out of Canada in the 1990s.

Overall, Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead) did an excellent job shooting, casting and writing this film. He could have easily made this your standard-fair, nerdy romantic comedy based on a cult comic film (yes I know the difference between a graphic novel and a comic so don't start complaining yet fanboys, fangirls and fantrans*). Instead, Wright tried to be as inventive as possible, placing O'Malley's own imagery directly into the film as well as being influenced and resembling work by a wealth of different directors includin: Aronofsky, Kubrick, Tetsuya Nomura and Tarsem.

This movie is much more worthwhile than Dinner for Schmucks (2 hour snoozer, go see the original French version) or the Other Guys (actors doing the same role...again).

Making the Grade

Acting: This is easily Michael Cera's best movie, really using his awkward nature to its fullest potential. Mary Elizabeth has definitely set herself apart from a lot of female actors as a lead with a range of talent. Kieran Culkin steals many of the scenes that he is in, and has been likened to a young Robert Downy Jr. (minus all the blow). Jason Schwartzman and Chris Evans lead a supporting cast that is funny, and just as engaging as of the leads. A-

Special effects/Visuals: Stunning, most films geared towards young adults of the ADHD generation are not typically visually pleasing unless they have a ton of explosions, but this film takes on a very artistic albeit nerdy tone, making for film that makes you never want to take your eyes off the screen. A

Music: The music really sets the tone for the entire film and is incorporated in a way that shows its importance but doesn't take away from the general flow of the film. The music can be a little too similar, and if you are not into the Canadian indie scene and prefer something a little more auto-tuned and Kanye West-like, you are not going to enjoy the soundtrack one bit. Though the music also suplements the comedy in its own way. B+

Re-watchability: I doubt I will ever get tired of this film there is so much to see throughout the entire movie that you could find yourself watching background and not follow the plot and still be entertained. If you haven't yet see this film as soon as possi...ooh a puppy. A

Overall Grade: A-

*I have met a very aggressive treky who also happened to be a tranny as well, so I am not just be PC here. I am writing this on a Mac how can I be?

Show her the totem...

THE TOP DID NOT FALL.

In case you wanted my opinion.

New News is Good News

"Beginning is easy--continuing hard"

--Japanese Proverb

Yes! I have returned from the dead. I hope everyone is doing well. In my hiatus I did a lot of soul searching and blah, blah, blah...so on and so fourth. Actually to be completely honest, I just sat on my lazy ass and watched movies. But I am back now with some wonderful, albeit nerdy, news, and a few updates from older news stories I have mentioned before.

Conan Has a New Face

The Governator (left--in case you didn't know, duh), as Conan the Barbarian, crushes fiscal responsibility with his pecks. Jason Momoa (right) poses as Dex from Stargate: Atlantis already looking like he could fit the part of a barbarian quite nicely.

Mike Flemming is reporting that Jason Momoa (Stargate: Atlantis) is slated to play the new screen version of Conan the Barbarian. He was chosen over Kellen Lutz, which in this writer’s opinion was a good move. There has been too much Twilight blood in places it should not be, I prefer it dripping out of a vampire’s mouth and that is about it. Anywho, production is supposedly starting in mid-March and barring any terrible problems on set, or from Paradox Entertainment, this movie should be out in a few years. The next question is, will it be Schwarzenegger style campy or a shiny, CGI, action-drama remake. Personally I am hoping for a little bit of both, but we shall see.

Wolverines Are Here to Help

These are supposedly some of the propaganda posters that appear in the Red Dawn re-make. If this is any indication of the level of attention to detail, we are in for a dynamite movie.

Apparently being called a, “live-action Call of Duty,” the re-make of Red Dawn should be great way to spend two hours in the movie theater. This time the Wolverines are not going to be fighting Russians though. This time, it’s the Chinese. The screenshots that I have seen show a lot of explosions of the Michael Bay variety, but the plot should be much better. Not only that I am curious to see if Tom Cruise’s son is as stiff an actor as he is. But aside from the fact that this movie is FUCKING RED DAWN RE-MAKE, I always get excited for a new director to come along and offer a new point of view from Hollywood. Granted, I am not expecting anything revolutionary in the cinematic realm from director Dan Bradley, I do expect a lot of amazing stunts. For those of you who have never heard of Bradley, because he is totally a household name up there with Spielberg, Scorcese and Ron Howard…Bradley has been the stunt coordinator for several very impressive movies like, The Bourne Ultimatum, The Bourne Supremacy, Three Kings, Crank, and Spiderman 2 and 3. Not only that but he has also done stunts in several movies, so his on the job experience should come in very handy here. Overall, some critics may be concerned about what sort of message this movie will put forward, especially now that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has come under fire from the Chinese governments for her comments on censorship in China. Nevertheless this will be a deliciously entertaining fireball of a movie.